Favourite store on the Citadel
by ASmurfCalledLauren
Summary: Erin Shepard, Garrus and Mordin take a trip to the citadel. When Erin decides she wants a pet, things start to get messy. Illusive man features, cause he loves the attention. Just some light, happy stuff. Humor and all that jazz. One-shot. Ficlet. Set in ME2. Enjoy!


**Hello there! This is just a short little ficlet that I wrote, this idea was stuck in my head for a while. This would be my second upload, the last one being months ago! :o **

**But I am going to start uploading more fanfic, just ficlets at first but hopefully I can do a big one by the end of the year! Or start one, at least. **

**Based in ME2, just some light, hopefully funny stuff. No major drama. Please, review if you can. It would mean a lot! **

**Hope you enjoy!**

**EDIT: I've tried to space it all out more, as suggested by Flareonwolf in a review (Thanks!). However, for some reason it just won't. Apologies! Also added in an extra line or two, no biggie :)**

Favourite store on the Citadel

Commander Erin Shepard admired the little space hamster nibbling away at some food in its cage, unknowing of it's odd fan. And odd _was_ the right word - Erin knew that she appeared as a scary sight. With her bright silver eyes, recently dyed red hair, pale skin and towering 5' 10" frame - not to mention her scar which was carved from her eyelid to underneath her eye. Oh yeah, she was an strange sight indeed. Stranger still in a souvenir store. But she ignored the stares, she was on a mission.

A mission for a pet. And it looked as if this was the one.

Taking a sip of her vanilla flavoured milkshake, Shepard sauntered over to the store desk, smiling at the nervous Asari. The Asari seemed to calm down, and shook Shepard a little wave.

"Good day, my friends. I'm Deleia, welcome to the Citadel," the Asari, Deleia, said. _Come on Shep, pull out the charm on this one.  
_"That's a nice space hamster you got." _N__ice one, Erin, real smooth._ Deleia smiled awkwardly.  
"Of course it is, would you be interested in buying it?"  
"Why yes, I would be. How much is it?" Shepard did a little jiggle inside, careful not to let the Asari know how excited she was. She was sure that it would be being kept for someone. Shepard started sucking up the rest of her milkshake, happy with her progress in this store.

"A total of 9,200 credits." Suddenly everything went into slow motion, and although she could see it happening, there was nothing she could do to stop it._ Nooooooooooooooooo-_ Shepard's milkshake spluttered all over Deleia's face, a stark contrast between the creamy white of the shake and purple of her skin - scales. Deleia's shriek of horror stabbed Erin's ears, forcing the world back into real time. From behind her, she heard Garrus's snuffled snigger.

"I don't understand. Was this done on purpose?" A customer's confused voice asked. Deleia, hearing this, looked at Shepard accusingly.  
"I didn't! I-it was an accident, honestly!" Shepard tried desperately to resolve the situation, pulling at every comforting thought she could find in her head. "Well...at least it looks like you've had a good time?" Deleia paled to a violet colour as Shepard realized that what she said was not comforting, that it was absolutely not the time for dirty jokes.  
"Spirits, Shep," Garrus crowed. "You've beat me on the most awkward things to say." _Godamnit, godamnit, godamnit.  
_"...Do You want a tissue?" She offered. Well, it was better than running away and hiding in a keeper tunnel for the rest of her life. Maybe that was still an option...

"JUST TAKE THE DAMN HAMSTER!" Deleia wailed. Shepard quickly picked up the cage and turned to shuffle away when she thought better. Cautiously coming to the desk, she tried to at least make things a little better.  
"How would you...like an endorsement?" She asked hopefully, maybe this would put her on better terms. Deleia just blinked a couple times, as if that was the answer to everything. "Is that like two blinks yes, one blink no?" The Asari just stared, a fire burning in her eyes. Shepard reached into the off-hand ammo pack around her arm, which she sometimes used as a purse when they were docked somewhere. She snatched out a couple of tissues and placed them on the counter top. "I'll be going now," she quickly said. Picking up the cage, she briskly run off to the rapid transport, and she hoped to God that she would never have to go in there again.

"You left your milkshake in there, you know," Garrus piped up.

"Really? Where did I leave it?" Shepard asked sarcastically.

"All over the clerks face."

"Vakarian, shut up."

"Is that an order?"

"You bet your Turian ass it is, now get in the car. Mordin - where is he?" Shepard looked around until she finally saw Mordin, emerging from a store with another vanilla milkshake.

"Shepard, Garrus, good to see you! Found this strange item in a human store. Food, but at the same time a drink. Most interesting indeed. I - what are you doing Shepard?" Mordin inquired. Shepard, seeing a full cup of vanilla milkshake just inches away, decided to peel it away from Mordin's hands and start to drink it immediately.  
"It's fate, Mordin. Can't argue with fate. It was my _destiny_ to have this shake," She simply stated. Mordin, confused, looked to Garrus.  
"I'll explain on the ship," He promised. Mordin, who was now quite interested in the story behind this, opted to get into the rapid transit quickly. And as he gazed out the window, he saw a most peculiar sight - An Asari, covered in white slush. Smiling to himself, he continued to watch as she stormed around the store, wondering about the story behind that.

* * *

The Illusive Man sat up straight in his stylish chair. One of his assistants had handed him a datapad. Things were about to get serious. Turning around to get a look at the frightened young assistant, he decided to press her on the issue.  
"Would you like to tell me how this happened?" He calmly asked. To anyone who didn't know him he would sound completely fine, but to those who knew and worked with him, they would know how pissed off he was.  
"I-I don't know sir. They said it wouldn't go to anyone else, they had reserved it solely for you! It wasn't my fault sir!" The assistant stammered. He should have known that the deal was too good to be true.  
"No need to get defensive. Just sort it out. _Now._" And with that, she scurried off. He spun around on his chair and gazed out at the dying sun that dominated his view.

He really wanted that space hamster.


End file.
